Liz Hardeman: Holy Cross Benedictine Monastery

On Monday, September 29th, our group visited the Holy Cross Benedictine Monastery just up the road from our lodging in Rostrevor, Northern Ireland. We entered the church and were led to the room in which Brother Thiery would give us a two hour talk on the life of a monk. He entered the room shortly after we sat down, a spring in his step and a broad, welcoming smile on his face. As he launched into his spiel about what the everyday life of a monk looks like, I was immediately drawn and absorbed by the honest, raw, and passionate manner in which he spoke. His eyes were earnest yet joyful as he unpacked the core values of St. Benedict.

What I learned during our session with Brother Thiery was how essential community is in a monk’s way of life, and how difficult yet vital it is to practice the art of being in healthy relationships. Listening was perhaps the most stressed core value, and Brother Thiery’s
commentary on how silence enriches the way we listen revolutionized my understanding of why monks practice silence with such intensity. He expounded on the importance of silence in relationship by debunking the thought that silence is the end goal. Rather, it is a means to an end, the goal being relationship. What is essential to a thriving relationship is the balance of words and silence, of sharing and listening. This is a practice that can never quite be mastered- but a
Christian life is one that starts fresh daily. Each new day, we must strive to create a balance in our relationships, to be better listeners. We must learn daily to seethe people surrounding us with
new eyes- one that offers grace and forgiveness, that offers to see them in all their potential instead of in light of their shortcomings.



As students traveling together, life can feel a bit like a balancing act. We are expected to balance school and travel, homework and sleep, friends and personal time. Brother Thiery’s emphasis on the way in which a monk’s life creates space for balance both challenged and inspired me. I was forced to look at the way I am living in community. Have I been able to carve out time for balance in my relationships? Am I able to dwell with myself and understand who I am so that I can then be enabled to better connect with others? Do I make an effort to give this community a clean slate each day instead of holding them accountable for past offenses?